Random Thoughts From a Random Guy

Ow My Balls!

So in the movie Idiocracy (it’s no Citizen Kane, but more entertaining), the most popular TV show is called “Ow My Balls!”. It basically just shows a guy getting hit in the balls over and over and over again. Well, if they made a documentary of my morning/afternoon commute, they would have to steal that title.

And yea, I know, my commute isn’t worthy of a documentary…

Anyway, almost everyday, I get on the overcrowded Orange line and my luck always has me right next to someone who can’t control their purse, laptop bag, gym bag, backpack, etc. and it repeatedly hits me in the crotch. Now it doesn’t hit me hard, but still, I get no joy out of having a bag rub up against my junk.

It drives me insane… I’ve started pushing it back into them, exaggerating my staggering at stops so I can knock into them, etc. One of these days I might snap and rip the bag off of their arm.

So – if you ride the metro and it’s kind of crowded, please, please put your bag in front of you and watch how it swings. My balls will thank you.

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