Random Thoughts From a Random Guy

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People are crazy…

I know, not really news… but it seems that every day I find more and more evidence supporting the fact that there are some real whackos in this world!

During my daily news perusing via Fark, I clicked on an article about a meteorite that hit outside of a small village in Peru. 100 or so people who went over to look at it have fallen ill (Real life Andromeda Strain?). At the bottom of the article were links to other “weird” news stories, including one about a man marrying his pillow…

Let me reiterate –  A MAN MARRYING HIS PILLOW!

Clicky the Linky for the story:  http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/816601-man-marries-pillow

Yea… people are crazy… look at the related links – “Man Marries Cat”, “Man Wants to Marry Cartoon Character”, “People will Marry Robots, Says Scientist”

To think, other countries let people marry inanimate objects or animals, while our country mostly prohibits humans from marrying because they are the same sex. Maybe the zealots are right!?!? If we let men marry other men or women marry other women, the next step is humans marrying animals… or pillows.

I wonder if Korea allows gay marriage though? Maybe they don’t and this is what happens, men marry pillows.

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Random thoughts

Over a week since my last blog…

Told you it might be a once-in-awhile thing! So for the one person who actually reads this, here are some random thoughts that came to me the last couple of days.

— I hate, absolutely hate, Greenpeace sidewalk-spammers

— Predators was actually pretty entertaining and was a good re-boot of the original

— Avatar sucked donkey balls

— Avatar REALLY sucked donkey balls, sure the images were “pretty” but the story sucked

— People who were depressed after watching Avatar need to be put on a rocket and sent to Pandora, or at least the Sun. Good riddance, we don’t need them mating on this planet

— It was too damn hot this week/weekend

— I love maryland blue crabs and that my girlfriend loves them more than me

— My girlfriend is better than most of you, she drinks bourbon straight

— Why do people wait 30+ minutes to get into a sports bar? Seriously?

— Oh wait, I waited 30+ minutes to get into a sports bar, but only because we were trying to see our friend who was in said bar and never comes out near us

— But still, why is there a line to get into a sports bar when there is no special sporting event going on

— I can’t believe that crap sequels they come out with now, just some of the previews I saw before Predators: Step-Up 3D, Wall St. 2, Resident Evil 4? 5?

— I am excited for the following crap movies though: Machete and Piranhas 3D. Mainly because both look like gratuitous B-movies and were intended to be that way

— Only 4 days of work this week… so better get back to it.

**** UPDATE ****

Look how awesomely crappy this movie looks!

I am taking my talents to South Beach…

As most of you know, I consider myself to be from Cleveland. My grandparents live there, my parents were born there, most of my aunts and uncles live or lived there, my sisters were born there, and I spent my early years living there. Well for better or worse, I’m a Cleveland sports fan. Indians, Browns, Cavs, and Crunch/Force (indoor soccer for those of you who don’t know). That means that yes, I watched the disgrace that was “The Decision”. Yes, I know it raised a bunch of money for a good cause, but really, it was just a douche move by Akron’s favorite son.

I don’t hate Lebron for leaving, hell I don’t blame him one bit! If you gave me the choice between living in South Beach or living in Cleveland for the next several years, well, you wouldn’t have had the chance to finish saying Cleveland before I had my bathing suit on and my suitcase packed. I do have an issue with how he did it. He should have made his decision with class, a simple press release or small press conference would have sufficed. Clevelanders would have been upset and many would have overreacted, sure, but to play it out on National TV, well, that was like if you had proposed to your girlfriend and she told you she had to think about it, then you went to a baseball game and saw her accept a proposal from another guy she just met on the jumbotron, AND everyone in the stadium knew you had been with her for 7 years and already proposed. I will say this, I have enjoyed the backlash from Cleveland sports fans though – especially this t-shirt. (For those of you who don’t know, there is a rumor that Delonte West (teammate of Lebron in Cleveland) slept with Lebron’s mom.)

Anyway… Cleveland sports are cursed, but isn’t that what makes sports interesting? If every team and city took turns winning championships, would it really be better? I still think one of the worse things to happen to baseball was when the Red Sox finally won a World Series. I used to get joy out of watching them suffer… now they are just insufferable. The same thing will happen if the Cubs ever win. Cubs fans are great because they are tortured, give them a championship and they will just become even more annoying.

I feel the same about Cleveland. Do I want them to win some championships? Hell yes! But there is something about being a tortured sports city that is endearing. Something about being a fan through it all…

So, am I a glutton for punishment? Probably, I mean I adopted the Nationals as my NL team… and between them and the Indians, they might have enough wins to win a division. I root for a city that has been immortalized by other teams triumphs – The Catch (baseball), The Drive, The Fumble, The Shot, and now… The Decision!

*** Seriously, Google all of those phrases and you’ll have a sampling of what it’s like to be a Cleveland fan.

But in closing, I’m going to steal something I read from the Bill Simmons mailbag after The Decision – I am for now on using the phrase “I am taking my talents to South Beach” as a euphemism for masturbation. Fitting because that was basically what The Decision was for Lebron – an hour long masturbation session on public TV.

Epilogue

Hopefully will have more time to update… but until then, for those of you wondering what happened to that woman on the mule.

According to the song, she tells the aliens to stop, because she “ain’t lookin for fightin” and offers them lemonade and invites them to her house.  Of course they accept and find her country home much more delightful than their UFO….

Smell My Mule!

Welcome to my blog –

Basically just started doing this to kill some time.  Pretty sure the only person reading this will be my wonderful girlfriend, but what the hell…

Not really sure where or how this thing will go – I might get busy and forget to update or I might post random thoughts all the time.  Only time will tell.

But a I guess a good start would be to explain a couple of things about the address and title of this blog.

Smell My Mule:  In my younger days, I was obsessed with a pretty big fan of  the band Phish. Still enjoy them, but not quite as much as I used to.  They have a song called “Scent of a Mule” which, in true Phish fashion, really doesn’t make too much sense.  It basically talks about a women minding her own business, riding along on her mule when she is attacked by aliens firing laser beams.   She kicks the mule causing him to take a dump…   She then warns the aliens to watch out where they go and take their laser beams away or they’ll “smell my mule” – I’m assuming this means they might step in the mule’s aforementioned dump, but who knows.

Anyway –  this whole song is sung in a higher pitched voice and has a high-paced bluegrassy/country style and when the “Smell My Mule” line comes, it makes me chuckle.  So I decided to go with it as my blog address.  Kind of fitting – my writing is crap – and by reading it,  you could say you’re smelling my mule or something like that.

Here’s a link to hear a sample of the song: Scent Of A Mule

Mind-Wanderer:  We all do it, some to greater degrees than others, but we all will be doing one task or talking about one thing, while our mind wanders to other topics.   I tend to do this a lot during conversations.  I’ll start out on one topic, but as the conversation progresses, I will jump from seemingly unrelated topic to seemingly unrelated topic.  Most of the time I’ll make my way back to my initial point… if given the time.  Some might call this “long winded” but in reality, it’s just how my mind works.  In my head, everything makes sense.

So welcome to my blog – it will probably be pretty random and you probably won’t learn anything new.  Actually, I take that back, you probably WILL learn something new, but it will not be something you can practically use in your normal day-to-day life and you won’t be smarter for knowing it (but you might be better at trivia).